Allright, for those of you that have always asked the question "Would would happen if I was a bitch to BrandonBrown after he had a bad day, was stoned, and was in a particular mood to use the english language as a weapon?", here is the answer.
We enter this conversation after I make a lighthearted comment about a photo of a pair of hands making a heart under a clowdy sky. Obviously, I say the picture is Emo, and this is what ensued.
Samantha says:
its not emo at all buddy
***The Brandon*** says:
relax, t'was a joke
Samantha says:
you obviously dont know what emo is
Samantha says:
no im not in the mood for fucking pricks like you
***The Brandon*** says:
I apologize for having obviously offending you
Samantha says:
fuck off
***The Brandon*** says:
interesting
***The Brandon*** says:
why are you so hostile at the sight of these typed words
***The Brandon*** says:
does it not seem strange to you?
Samantha says:
im in a bad mood and your pissing me off
Samantha says:
cant you get the hint?
***The Brandon*** says:
It wasn't a very good hint, actually it wasn't really a hint at all. More of a blunt statement. I think fuck off may have been the biggest clue. Or rather, the only one...Actually, you blatantly told me that I was irritating you
***The Brandon*** says:
Do you know the definition of the word "hint"
***The Brandon*** says:
the word "subtle" is involved somewhere within said definition
Samantha says:
you and your big snotty words need to fuck off and stop talking to me
***The Brandon*** says:
but you keep responding, and I'm having quite a lot of fun. As I'm saying nothing that a reasonable person would find offensive. And, yet, here you are; finding it offensive.
Samantha says:
mhmm
***The Brandon*** says:
now, you've left me with nothing with that statement, as you never really said anything. But, what you did do for me is tell me, whether you know it or not, that you're still reading what I'm typing. That's also quite amuzing to me.
***The Brandon*** says:
Finally, you've solved the puzzle of how to get me to stop typing at you. And, all I had to do was tell you what I was doing and the thing to do to make me stop.
***The Brandon*** says:
I thought you'd like to know. I'm attracted to Lois Griffin.
Samantha says:
its funny how your wasting your time typing all this bullshit to me.
***The Brandon*** says:
Even after I told you twice the way to make me stop, you keep responding.
Samantha says:
n id like you to know i think your the biggest goof i have ever talked to.
***The Brandon*** says:
And, still. You continue to respond, knowing full well that it's fueling my desire, for whatever reason, to continue typing.
***The Brandon*** says:
You know. I think I shall write my term paper for Psych on this behaviour. For, I cannot possibly comprehend your motivations in continually responding to this stimuli when you know its eventual outcome.
***The Brandon*** says:
You're really quite fascinating
Samantha says:
thanks i get that alot.
***The Brandon*** says:
You're very welcome. Do people also say things like "Hey, you don't make any fuckin sense" to you all the time also?
Samantha says:
nope
***The Brandon*** says:
One would expect they would
Samantha says:
one would expect ur a faggot
***The Brandon*** says:
Are there more like you, or are you some sort of interesting anomaly? Alone on your worthless and unknown cause.
***The Brandon*** says:
If you don't mind, and I'm sure you don't; I'd just like to ask you a few simple questions. Just to see where in my study you fit. How old are you? What part of the world are you from? What's your yearly income? And, finally. Did you vote Republican last election?
Samantha says:
im uhhh 39.. im from China.. im poor n i dont vote
***The Brandon*** says:
You know, falsified data will taint my findings, and I won't be able to make accurate representations regarding your specific disorder.
Samantha says:
thats just too bad
***The Brandon*** says:
It really is, and I don't know if you knew this but, the disorder you suffer from; stupidity, its rampant among poor asains in their late thirties and early fourties. But, there is hope
***The Brandon*** says:
I hope to one day find a cure.
Samantha says:
oh baby ur my cure.. cum in my mouth make me screaaaaaaam
***The Brandon*** says:
No, in fact, I actually just vometed a little in my mouth.
Samantha says:
thats too bad cause you make me so wet
***The Brandon*** says:
I'm not attracted to older, poorer, asianer women. I'm sorry
Samantha says:
who says im a woman
***The Brandon*** says:
that's a good point, Samantha is a unisex name. Like Sarah, or Brittany
Samantha says:
um it isnt.. but okay
***The Brandon*** says:
I think you misunderstood what I said.. but okay
Samantha says:
mkay
***The Brandon*** says:
You bore me. Goodnight Samantha. I hope you enjoy your emo-hand poor asain man/woman sleep.
Samantha says:
how is that emo
Samantha says:
like honestly
***The Brandon*** says:
How is anything emo? By being awesome. Emo just equals Awesome in my mind
Samantha says:
so you think im awesome?
***The Brandon*** says:
How can you not see the connection? They both rhyme and are spelled the same.
Samantha says:
do not
Samantha says:
lick my cunt
***The Brandon*** says:
What, in that previous statement could have possibly angered you?
Samantha says:
how is telling you to lick my cunt seemed angry?
***The Brandon*** says:
I suppose the use of the word "cunt" with it's initial sound of the hard "C", it's one-syllableness and the final "T" sound that makes that statement seem angry
Samantha says:
LICK MY VAGINA
Samantha says:
better?
***The Brandon*** says:
Yes, though I'd still rather not perform any sexual act with you. Including oral sex. Though, I did just discover that you really are a poor, thirty-nine year old asian woman, as I previously thought.
Samantha says:
lol fuck you.. you know i was joking
***The Brandon*** says:
I knew no such thing. I took what you said to be true. Why would you lie to me about such trivial things. You become more and more intriguing with each statement you utter. Though, please. Stop speaking to me. I must ignore my work and prepare for tomorrow.
Samantha says:
you must ignore your work?
***The Brandon*** says:
Yes.
***The Brandon*** says:
It makes sense, you're just not viewing the words with the proper sight. What I meant was, that I must ignore you, and this conversation, which is my "work", which is collecting data to help cure stupidity. Which you suffer from.
That's where she didn't respond for over twenty minutes. She still hasn't, but I've claimed a huge victory at this point and thought the conversation was done. I was right.
We enter this conversation after I make a lighthearted comment about a photo of a pair of hands making a heart under a clowdy sky. Obviously, I say the picture is Emo, and this is what ensued.
Samantha says:
its not emo at all buddy
***The Brandon*** says:
relax, t'was a joke
Samantha says:
you obviously dont know what emo is
Samantha says:
no im not in the mood for fucking pricks like you
***The Brandon*** says:
I apologize for having obviously offending you
Samantha says:
fuck off
***The Brandon*** says:
interesting
***The Brandon*** says:
why are you so hostile at the sight of these typed words
***The Brandon*** says:
does it not seem strange to you?
Samantha says:
im in a bad mood and your pissing me off
Samantha says:
cant you get the hint?
***The Brandon*** says:
It wasn't a very good hint, actually it wasn't really a hint at all. More of a blunt statement. I think fuck off may have been the biggest clue. Or rather, the only one...Actually, you blatantly told me that I was irritating you
***The Brandon*** says:
Do you know the definition of the word "hint"
***The Brandon*** says:
the word "subtle" is involved somewhere within said definition
Samantha says:
you and your big snotty words need to fuck off and stop talking to me
***The Brandon*** says:
but you keep responding, and I'm having quite a lot of fun. As I'm saying nothing that a reasonable person would find offensive. And, yet, here you are; finding it offensive.
Samantha says:
mhmm
***The Brandon*** says:
now, you've left me with nothing with that statement, as you never really said anything. But, what you did do for me is tell me, whether you know it or not, that you're still reading what I'm typing. That's also quite amuzing to me.
***The Brandon*** says:
Finally, you've solved the puzzle of how to get me to stop typing at you. And, all I had to do was tell you what I was doing and the thing to do to make me stop.
***The Brandon*** says:
I thought you'd like to know. I'm attracted to Lois Griffin.
Samantha says:
its funny how your wasting your time typing all this bullshit to me.
***The Brandon*** says:
Even after I told you twice the way to make me stop, you keep responding.
Samantha says:
n id like you to know i think your the biggest goof i have ever talked to.
***The Brandon*** says:
And, still. You continue to respond, knowing full well that it's fueling my desire, for whatever reason, to continue typing.
***The Brandon*** says:
You know. I think I shall write my term paper for Psych on this behaviour. For, I cannot possibly comprehend your motivations in continually responding to this stimuli when you know its eventual outcome.
***The Brandon*** says:
You're really quite fascinating
Samantha says:
thanks i get that alot.
***The Brandon*** says:
You're very welcome. Do people also say things like "Hey, you don't make any fuckin sense" to you all the time also?
Samantha says:
nope
***The Brandon*** says:
One would expect they would
Samantha says:
one would expect ur a faggot
***The Brandon*** says:
Are there more like you, or are you some sort of interesting anomaly? Alone on your worthless and unknown cause.
***The Brandon*** says:
If you don't mind, and I'm sure you don't; I'd just like to ask you a few simple questions. Just to see where in my study you fit. How old are you? What part of the world are you from? What's your yearly income? And, finally. Did you vote Republican last election?
Samantha says:
im uhhh 39.. im from China.. im poor n i dont vote
***The Brandon*** says:
You know, falsified data will taint my findings, and I won't be able to make accurate representations regarding your specific disorder.
Samantha says:
thats just too bad
***The Brandon*** says:
It really is, and I don't know if you knew this but, the disorder you suffer from; stupidity, its rampant among poor asains in their late thirties and early fourties. But, there is hope
***The Brandon*** says:
I hope to one day find a cure.
Samantha says:
oh baby ur my cure.. cum in my mouth make me screaaaaaaam
***The Brandon*** says:
No, in fact, I actually just vometed a little in my mouth.
Samantha says:
thats too bad cause you make me so wet
***The Brandon*** says:
I'm not attracted to older, poorer, asianer women. I'm sorry
Samantha says:
who says im a woman
***The Brandon*** says:
that's a good point, Samantha is a unisex name. Like Sarah, or Brittany
Samantha says:
um it isnt.. but okay
***The Brandon*** says:
I think you misunderstood what I said.. but okay
Samantha says:
mkay
***The Brandon*** says:
You bore me. Goodnight Samantha. I hope you enjoy your emo-hand poor asain man/woman sleep.
Samantha says:
how is that emo
Samantha says:
like honestly
***The Brandon*** says:
How is anything emo? By being awesome. Emo just equals Awesome in my mind
Samantha says:
so you think im awesome?
***The Brandon*** says:
How can you not see the connection? They both rhyme and are spelled the same.
Samantha says:
do not
Samantha says:
lick my cunt
***The Brandon*** says:
What, in that previous statement could have possibly angered you?
Samantha says:
how is telling you to lick my cunt seemed angry?
***The Brandon*** says:
I suppose the use of the word "cunt" with it's initial sound of the hard "C", it's one-syllableness and the final "T" sound that makes that statement seem angry
Samantha says:
LICK MY VAGINA
Samantha says:
better?
***The Brandon*** says:
Yes, though I'd still rather not perform any sexual act with you. Including oral sex. Though, I did just discover that you really are a poor, thirty-nine year old asian woman, as I previously thought.
Samantha says:
lol fuck you.. you know i was joking
***The Brandon*** says:
I knew no such thing. I took what you said to be true. Why would you lie to me about such trivial things. You become more and more intriguing with each statement you utter. Though, please. Stop speaking to me. I must ignore my work and prepare for tomorrow.
Samantha says:
you must ignore your work?
***The Brandon*** says:
Yes.
***The Brandon*** says:
It makes sense, you're just not viewing the words with the proper sight. What I meant was, that I must ignore you, and this conversation, which is my "work", which is collecting data to help cure stupidity. Which you suffer from.
That's where she didn't respond for over twenty minutes. She still hasn't, but I've claimed a huge victory at this point and thought the conversation was done. I was right.